I'm back!

So yes, I have been a bad blogger - but I have an excuse. I don't have internet in my apartment, and school blocks blogspot - so I've been on internet withdrawal...BUTTTT...I just discovered that there is free wireless internet at my pool, so guess where I'm sitting....yep - the pool - life is good. :-)

So, a lot has been going on in the past few weeks - school has been really good. I love my kids...and am so proud of them. We had our TAKS test in April, and my kids busted their little butts and most of them passed in the first round - so proud of them. I have really enjoyed some of the relationships that I've gotten to develop over these 2 years with them and its going to be really hard for me to watch them go to high school. But I'm hoping that they'll stay in touch. I really do feel so blessed to be doing what I'm doing - God is so good in guiding me here.

On a personal note, the social side of my life has been busy too - which is definitely fun - and I'm loving the friendships that are growing. Below is a pic of my sweet friend Lyn who is getting married to another dear friend Scott in June. I love this girl and am so excited for what married life is going to be for her -


Now here is an exciting part of my life - this is Jonny - or Joh as he likes to be introduced. I know him as Jonny though - so that's how I'll be referring to him. Jonny is my sweet boyfriend and I like him lots. He's so different than prior guys that I've dated...ahem...not a DB - ;-) I like him. And I think he's great. Hopefully you all will get to meet him soon - :-) He may not realize it, but he's been so good at showing me God's grace. I do feel so lucky. :-) And I think he's pretty cute.....

Hope

First off - I want to apologize for the raw post below...I didn't mean to scare anyone, which apparently I did. It just felt really good to write that all out - not necessarily talk it out, but just get it out somehow. I realized after reading it later, how depressing it sounded. But, I'm not going to try and pretend to be someone or something I'm not. I was really sad...and did feel really alone. And I needed to. I need to be at that point where all I have is Him to depend on. And goodness...I fight it. But thank you to everyone for the encouraging words and texts and phone calls, and prayers... I know they helped. :-)

Easter was great - got some good times with the fam...especially my precious niece and nephew! Love them! I finally moved yesterday and LOVE my new apartment. I'll try and take some pics and put them up. I will have some pics from my trip to Nashville once I can find my camera cord in one of the boxes... I'm posting Easter pics, but those are thanks to my mom...

Anyways - I'll have more fun posts soon...sorry again for the super sad one below! I'll try and not let it happen again! :-)

Here is my beautiful sister, Heather & me


And I just LOVE little Sam!


And how precious is Emily????


And here is my sister and me with my mom... (no, Heather is not pregnant, its just the way the jacket is hitting)

Broken

****disclaimer - this is me raw - uncensored - *******

For me - right now - I'm struggling. I'm broken and hurting and confused and straining to hang on to truth and Him. Actually, I'm just barely clinging on. This is a place I don't like to be. But I know I'm being brought here because I need to be here. To quote Lifehouse, 'I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home'.

So here I am - damaged at best - broken, hurting, confused, knowing that His hands are there to hold me, if I will just let Him. But so many parts of me are trying to walk away, swatting away His hand, saying, I don't need you - I don't need this. I'm sick of it all. I'm just tired. I'm alone. I'm confused. I'm just so tired.

What's funny is that at middle school church this morning, I was sweetly reminded that He is my hope. Everything that I think I want, I don't need. Regardless of my 'idealities' - they're nothing compared to what I have with Him and because of His ressurection. So why does my heart still hurt? Why do I feel so alone? And no, this isn't all about boys, its just about life and where I'm at. I walked in to my apartment yesterday and realized, once again, I'm alone...empty.

And...back to Lifehouse -
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm handing on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok


So - I'm reminding myself, my hope is not about me, its about Him and what will bring Him glory. So, now I'm having to teach myself what I've been trying to teach my middle schoolers for so long - peace in Him and Him alone.

Weekend - oh the Weekend

Well - I am just coming off a great weekend - a little exhausting, but hey - Spring Break is coming up...YEESSSSS!!!!!

So Friday night we celebrated one of my dearest friends, Hillary's birthday. A large group of us headed up to Pete's Piano Bar and celebrated the night away. Good times were had by all, with me especially having a great time. A little crazy, but so worth it! ;-)

Saturday I was able to celebrate the wedding of another very dear friend, Chavon. So you know how showers are oh so fun - well, this one really was! I mean, we made toilet paper brides, gave words of wisdom to Chavon and my favorite part was getting to spend some time with Summer. Now Summer and I have never been super close, however, I really am looking forward to having a better friendship with her. I think we have a lot in common and can have a lot of fun times in the future. I have become really close with her sister Kendall (who I also adore) but I really am excited to hopefully get to know Summer better!

Sunday was a fun day as well - should have been a day of rest, but hey - when you wake up and realize that you missed daylight savings and are now an hour short on sleep, its a quick revelation that your Sunday is not going to turn out how you expected. Butttt....it was great! Middle School church, brunch with Maddie, Hanna, and Julie, and then lunch in West Village with Jonny...really - just a great - and busy - day!

So - if I can make it through this week then I'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Spring Break '08 here I come!!!

College

Here are some of the most beautiful women that I got to grow with in college... I love them all dearly and am so grateful for them.

Basketball, 'Friending', and Girls Reunion - all around - GREAT weekend!

So I have just come off a great - and interesting weekend...and I am so thankful for it.

First off - lets see - I was begged to join a co-ed basketball league about a month ago. I was honest with those involved...I do not know how to play basketball. Yes, I know, I have the height and I appear oh so athletic - but as most of us know, looks can be deceiving, and in this case, are. I am horrible! However, I was still convinced to sign up, and I think it was thought that I can't be as bad as I claimed.... Oh how they were wrong... I had my first game on Friday night, and we lost. I contributed nothing, except to be a girl on the court while one of the 2 girls who know how to play, could rest. Wait wait - I did touch the ball once, and I did successfully pass it to a male player on OUR team (yes!), but other than that...pitiful. So I am going to practice this week and am determined to be better at this week's game...however, I don't think its possible for me to be worse!

So friending - some of you ask, oh what is this word? Well, I think I'm quite bright and have come up with a term - 'friending'- that describes when a guy pursues a girl for a friendship, unknowingly to the girl. This is that awkward phase where as a girl you don't know whether the guy is calling you because he likes you, or if he is just going to turn around and use the friend card. This is really when I hate being a girl... Anyways, I don't think at this phase in our life, too many girls really want to be friended.... (just an fyi for you guys)

The best part of my weekend was getting to go down to a ranchhouse outside of Houston with some of my girlfriends from college. I haven't seen some of these girls in several years so it was so good to see them. However, I was a little nervous about going. So much has changed with all of us - most are married, most have 2 kids...its just different. But things were SO GOOD! It was just like being 'home'. So comfortable and so encouraging to be around these amazing women and to hear about how the Lord has and is working in their lives. I don't know what I was so scared to go - these girls are amazing and just bring such joy and smiles to my face. I have so missed them and am a little sad that I haven't kept in better touch. I still can't get over how stinking cute their kids are! I hope to get to meet them soon.

Ok - well there is my weekly update....I'm exhausted and need to get some sleep! Hope everyone is haveing a great week!

Ron Clark is my Hero

Soooo...I just returned from one of the most amazing experiences of my life. First off, if you had asked me 5 years ago what one of my favorite experiences would be, I never would have thought it would be this visit... I never thought I could be so motivated by one man and his passion for kids. But tis true - this guy is amazing. And he loves his kids, and what he is doing - and you can tell that he is making a difference in these kids lives. I honestly am in awe.

So - back to the point of this blog. My friend Kendall and I were lucky enough to get to visit the Ron Clark Academy this past week. Who is Ron Clark you ask? Well...some of you may remember a little made for TV movie...The Ron Clark Story...

Or...you might have read his book (featured on Oprah)

But if you aren't familiar with either - he was teacher of the year in 2001 - and in my eyes - still is. He is one of those rare individuals who knows how to bring learning to life for kids who may not want to learn. He makes it fun. He makes it something that these kids, no matter what their background, love to do. He is silly and innovative and has a passion for what he does. And Kendall and I were able to watch this man in action. He took all the proceeds from his book and instead of buying himself a nice little house - he built a school in inner city Atlanta for underprivelaged kids - The Ron Clark Academy. At this school, Kendall and I met some of the most polite and respectful students who were so enthused to be in school. And I can't blame them. I sat in their math class and watched their teacher walk on their desks, sing and dance to current songs changed into math songs... I watched as they experienced learning in a hands on manner. In their language arts class, they learned what it is like to really use adjectives in many different manners... I watched as they 'bumped' their words in social studies. And most importantly, I watched how they encouraged each other to do the best they can.

If you haven't watched his story, I encourage you to. This man has really opened my eyes to the fact that I can make a difference in my kids lives. So thanks RC - in the 48 hours that I was there - I have fallen in love. (ha - that was a joke - and a referecnce to what he said to me in my autographed copy of his book - if only it was true).

Here are Kendall and I as we embark on our journey -


And here is Mr. Clark sporting the Blalack 'math nerds are cool' tshirt -


After we became 'slide certified'


And of course - our favorite picture - me making a fool of myself -